Today in my prayer time one of the
first things I prayed for was this silly head of mine. It is no secret to
anyone who knows me that I have horrible migraine headaches. It’s my cross to
bear and believe me when I say, I want to put it down, OFTEN! I am also
reminded often, that my burden is easy compared to others, so I am
thankful for my headaches being “just headaches.” I don’t like them,
I don’t want them, they have robbed me of many days of my life, but again, it
could be worse. What leads me to this writing, is also in my time this morning
I realized that my 8-day headache I have been experiencing is probably self-induced
by stress, worry, anxiety, busyness, lack of sleep and anticipation. Wait,
what? Anticipation? Of all of those self-inflicted emotions, anticipation
jumped out at me like a deer jumping into oncoming traffic. What was it about anticipation
that stopped me in my tracks? Well, what does any good curious girl do…she
digs, googles, reads, defines and prays some more. Here is what I learned.
first things I prayed for was this silly head of mine. It is no secret to
anyone who knows me that I have horrible migraine headaches. It’s my cross to
bear and believe me when I say, I want to put it down, OFTEN! I am also
reminded often, that my burden is easy compared to others, so I am
thankful for my headaches being “just headaches.” I don’t like them,
I don’t want them, they have robbed me of many days of my life, but again, it
could be worse. What leads me to this writing, is also in my time this morning
I realized that my 8-day headache I have been experiencing is probably self-induced
by stress, worry, anxiety, busyness, lack of sleep and anticipation. Wait,
what? Anticipation? Of all of those self-inflicted emotions, anticipation
jumped out at me like a deer jumping into oncoming traffic. What was it about anticipation
that stopped me in my tracks? Well, what does any good curious girl do…she
digs, googles, reads, defines and prays some more. Here is what I learned.
Anticipate:
1. regard as probable; expect or predict.
2. guess or be aware of (what will happen) and take action in
order to be prepared.
order to be prepared.
To
anticipate something can be exciting. The anticipation of a new baby is an
exciting time. A vacation with friends or family, moving into a dream home, a
milestone birthday (unless you’re getting older) this one is reserved for those
less than 40! Haha. So many positives to anticipation. But look at the
definitions, “regard as probable, expect or predict.” Is it possible
to find ourselves in a mindset of expectations and predictions for ourselves
and others? Placing burdens on our lives and the lives of those close to us.
The second definition says to “be aware and take action in order to be prepared.”
We can prepare ourselves for the birth of a baby, a vacation, a move, or a
birthday. What we can never prepare for is infertility, the loss of a job
making vacations impossible, a disaster taking our home, the loss of a loved
one and losing those birthdays. We can also anticipate the actions of
others, expect and prepare for what “we think” we deserve from them
only to be hurt or let down when they aren’t who we prepared ourselves for them
to be.
anticipate something can be exciting. The anticipation of a new baby is an
exciting time. A vacation with friends or family, moving into a dream home, a
milestone birthday (unless you’re getting older) this one is reserved for those
less than 40! Haha. So many positives to anticipation. But look at the
definitions, “regard as probable, expect or predict.” Is it possible
to find ourselves in a mindset of expectations and predictions for ourselves
and others? Placing burdens on our lives and the lives of those close to us.
The second definition says to “be aware and take action in order to be prepared.”
We can prepare ourselves for the birth of a baby, a vacation, a move, or a
birthday. What we can never prepare for is infertility, the loss of a job
making vacations impossible, a disaster taking our home, the loss of a loved
one and losing those birthdays. We can also anticipate the actions of
others, expect and prepare for what “we think” we deserve from them
only to be hurt or let down when they aren’t who we prepared ourselves for them
to be.
As
the holidays approach and families begin to gather, pressure begins to rise,
anticipation will begin to rise as well. Kids will anticipate gifts,
mothers will anticipate meals and preparations, and fathers’ financial
commitments. We will anticipate family gatherings, the good, the bad and
the ugly. Not all families are whole. We all have family dynamics that become
especially exposed during the holidays. I heard today of a bible teacher
saying, why do you go into family gatherings year after year expecting family
members to act differently than they have in years past? So true! The only
people who can act different are the people we can control, and that is US! You
and me!
the holidays approach and families begin to gather, pressure begins to rise,
anticipation will begin to rise as well. Kids will anticipate gifts,
mothers will anticipate meals and preparations, and fathers’ financial
commitments. We will anticipate family gatherings, the good, the bad and
the ugly. Not all families are whole. We all have family dynamics that become
especially exposed during the holidays. I heard today of a bible teacher
saying, why do you go into family gatherings year after year expecting family
members to act differently than they have in years past? So true! The only
people who can act different are the people we can control, and that is US! You
and me!
This week is a big week for our family, the reasons I will share one day.
I have anticipated these specific days for months. My kids and husband have
anticipated it as well. We need this to happen, there is a desire for closure,
answers, the light to be turned on at the end of the tunnel, though the tunnel
may still be long and hard. I beg for the light. I pray for the burden to be
less. I have painted the picture of what this looks like from the worst
scenario to the most glorious. Doesn’t God see me? Then it hit me today, my
anticipation is suffocating me! Of course, He sees me! I have strength, peace and joy that is only
explained because He DOES see me.
I have anticipated these specific days for months. My kids and husband have
anticipated it as well. We need this to happen, there is a desire for closure,
answers, the light to be turned on at the end of the tunnel, though the tunnel
may still be long and hard. I beg for the light. I pray for the burden to be
less. I have painted the picture of what this looks like from the worst
scenario to the most glorious. Doesn’t God see me? Then it hit me today, my
anticipation is suffocating me! Of course, He sees me! I have strength, peace and joy that is only
explained because He DOES see me.
I
am a Mom, I am a fixer, a kisser of boo boo’s, a slayer of monsters in the
closet, a friend when others are mean, a reminder that one woman will always
love you most. How do I breathe again when I am suffocating?
I remind myself that freedom is in surrender, there is hope in the wait
and I turn to the one who gives me breath.
am a Mom, I am a fixer, a kisser of boo boo’s, a slayer of monsters in the
closet, a friend when others are mean, a reminder that one woman will always
love you most. How do I breathe again when I am suffocating?
I remind myself that freedom is in surrender, there is hope in the wait
and I turn to the one who gives me breath.
Mathew 11:28-30
(NIV)
(NIV)
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give
you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble
in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble
in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
The yoke: a wooden crosspiece
that is fastened over the necks of two animals and attached to
the plow or cart that they are to pull. Our burdens, responsibilities,
anticipations can be heavy but the yoke was never created to be carried by one.
Jesus never promised easy and simple lives. We are called to do the work that he
has set before us with His promises of joy, peace and love, even when it is
hard. Share your anticipations with Him.
His shoulders are stronger, his burdens are light and when we partner with Him
we can rest and not grow weary.
that is fastened over the necks of two animals and attached to
the plow or cart that they are to pull. Our burdens, responsibilities,
anticipations can be heavy but the yoke was never created to be carried by one.
Jesus never promised easy and simple lives. We are called to do the work that he
has set before us with His promises of joy, peace and love, even when it is
hard. Share your anticipations with Him.
His shoulders are stronger, his burdens are light and when we partner with Him
we can rest and not grow weary.
My hope for you is that your anticipations will shift as mine
did today. I will anticipate the Lords plan, I will trust and not grow
weary, I will rest in the comfort of knowing that there is hope in the wait …
did today. I will anticipate the Lords plan, I will trust and not grow
weary, I will rest in the comfort of knowing that there is hope in the wait …
22 Because of
the Lord’s great
love we are not consumed,
for his compassions
never fail.
23 They are
new every morning;
great is
your faithfulness.
24 I say to
myself, “The Lord is my
portion;
therefore I
will wait for him.”
the Lord’s great
love we are not consumed,
for his compassions
never fail.
23 They are
new every morning;
great is
your faithfulness.
24 I say to
myself, “The Lord is my
portion;
therefore I
will wait for him.”
25 The Lord is
good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one
who seeks him;
26 it is good
to wait quietly
for the
salvation of the Lord. Lam
3:22-26 (NIV)
good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one
who seeks him;
26 it is good
to wait quietly
for the
salvation of the Lord. Lam
3:22-26 (NIV)
Finally, this song resonates for the
moments I just need to breathe. Take a moment, soak in these words and “exhale.”
Click here Exhale by Plumb.
moments I just need to breathe. Take a moment, soak in these words and “exhale.”
Click here Exhale by Plumb.
Until next time,
Courtney