Oh the dreaded tooth fairy saga in our home! Should one family really have to keep track of this many teeth ? We started losing teeth in this house back in 1998! Our youngest lost his second tooth last night, which of course he is ecstatic about. I on the other hand immediately thought, “I need to put on my fairy wings, and attempt to remember this, I cannot forget!” Even the reminder fresh on my mind, didn’t help. This morning as he woke up disappointed by the lack of money under the pillow and the lonely tiny tooth still sitting there, I had to get creative. “Sweetie, you lost the tooth very late, the tooth fairy was probably tired, she will come another night.” Deep sigh… But you know what, after approximately 50 plus lost teeth and 20 years of “tooth fairy” demands, the tooth fairy is tired. The magic and excitement has faded, her wings don’t always sparkle like they used to, and the inflation trend of teeth these days, well it’s just ridiculous. I could just blow her entire cover, call her out on her inadequacies and admit that she is me, and I am a failure. I fail every day! There I said it, I am so imperfect in my parenting, my day to day operations of life, my decision making, being a wife, my words to myself. Everyday I fail, some days bigger than others. I AM NOT enough! There I said that too, I will never be enough, in who I am. The outside world sees the external Facebook worthy me, but only one person sees me for who I am, the inside, the failure, the “not enough” me. The “tooth fairy” with dimmed, dusty wings, is tired, overwhelmed, forgetful, snappy, guilty, and not enough. Each day that I wake the responsibilities still remain, some more burdensome than others, some as simple as a few dollars under a pillow to bring a smile to a 7 year old. The only hope of making sure my wings glow brightly is to remind myself that in and of myself I am a fairy with dimmed wings and the light and brightness they require comes from another source that is not me. I have to admit my failures, inability to handle my life and those that depend on me without some serious guidance and a commitment to prayer. My sparkle comes from the Lord. The strength in my wings comes from my ability to admit I am not enough WITHOUT HIM!
He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Psalm 91:4
But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
This song says it all… Enjoy! Meredith Andrews-Soar SOAR